Right now...

My house smells like burnt onions.

the secret blessing of being hidden

I could say that along with the joy and sweetness of this season of life, watching my family grow and the laughter and thankfulness for it all, there is a quiet loneliness of being hidden. Old friends no longer in contact despite pursuing them, the glorious shift of seasons and moving on and still loving them despite it all. (oh, how I love them! wonderful, dear friends) But being forced to confront and cultivate the very most important of friendships. A friendship that I often get caught up in being busy with activity verses just adoring. My bridegroom, who wants me to return to with all of my heart, soul and mind. Who would like me to count everything else as loss for the sake of knowing Him. The one who will cut me free from the encumberances that entangle me so I can finish the race well. I realized that even if being hidden or forgotten hurts, its my gift! One person, God-man sees the hidden things in my thoughts. The hidden things no one else sees in my heart. My motives. It's all laid bare before His eyes. At first I cried at this reality because I saw how evil I really am. Now, as I'm comming back to Him...I hear Him whisper "Be hidden in me." He forgives the brokenhearted repentant heart. He draws near to those who draw near to Him. Those who run into Him are saved. I cannot save myself. But He can and He did and He still does. I am forced to address the broken cistern I've been drinking from, and turn to the fountain of life. And drink deeply. He is so satisfying, why did I ever turn away?