reality

Here we are. The Onething Conference is here. The conference that I always loved to go to as a single or married person, who could change my plans at the last minute and be spontaneous. To hang out with friends and have a blast meeting up with other friends. I love past memories and the rush of 25,000+ people worshiping God together and the beat of the bass and drums in my chest. I love feeling like I'm there in the middle of it, experiencing it for myself, participating. It's quite a rush. I get so let down if I feel like I miss it. That was my reality then.
This is my reality now. I'm confined to my home. Now, I have a family. A husband who works full time (thanks baby!),a toddler, whose attention span is the size of a peanut and who loves to run away from me in crowds thinking were playing "hide and seek". And who finds herself needing to snack every hour. All those ideals in my head of past conferences are thrown out the window. All this leads me to top 10 reasons why its better to stay home from the annual Onething Conference:
1. Parking is free.
2. You can watch worship and teaching notes in your pj's and curl up in a blanket on your couch.
3. You can take notes on your labtop, verses trying to scribble somthing down with a screaming toddler wanting to walk up and down the aisles.
4. You don't have to wait in line for the bathroom while your toddler is crying hysterically, "doodoo!!doodoo!!!" loud enough to draw a crowd.
5. You can bring "food and drink" into each session with you. (thank God, because I'm pregnant!)
6.You can take an immediate nap in between sessions. (versus trying to drive your kid around so they can nap, or driving home for a nap then repaying for parking later on)
7. No one has to save you a seat.
8. Your toddler can play to their little hearts content with accesible toys, as you bawl your eyes out hearing a message you've already heard before.
9. No registration lines.
10. You can literally sit on your butt and not have to walk up and down 2 flights of stairs, across the street fighting traffic, or 2 miles length of a conference center later to your seat. With no foldup stroller, toddler in the crook of your arms, diaper bag, food bag and bulky coats and hats and scarves.

Whew! I feel better just talking about it. Thanks for letting me get that out. While people are getting their worlds and mindsets rocked, my mindset and my world is getting rocked by how limited I feel as a parent and how to enjoy these unenjoyable moments of motherhood, nomatter how confined I feel, or left out I feel. It's just not true. I am not left out. I am blessed beyond belief. I have a home and a beautiful family. I can enter in to what the Lord is saying through wonderful teachers. I can accept the invitation to love well and to go low. Even though I feel like a failure as a mother when I lose my temper and throw food on the floor in frustration to my toddler throwing food on the floor that I cooked for her, I am being enjoyed by God. He loves me in my beautiful mess. And teaching me what it means to lay down my life. My selfish nature resists it, but my heart is learning to let go and just be where I'm at.

Lets adore Him

What a surprise it was to wake up this morning to thick fluffy snowflakes rushing down from the sky! I felt as giddy as a little kid. Hot tea and cinnamon toast were on the menu for breakfast. May you be blessed as you reflect on the love of God and His great pursuit of humanity! From our family to yours.

Christmas is personal

A few days ago I was flipping through the book of Isaiah, and dang. I found myself remembering a mother challenging her kids to write down the prophesies of Jesus in the OT and then finding how He fulfilled them. I just began in Isaiah, because it is packed full of them. There are tons of endtime prophesies aswell but I had to leave those behind since they are yet to be fulfilled. (exciting and terrible)Let me tell you ... if you are having a blah, can't get past your own yuck, I suck kinda day, read through Isaiah or any OT book and search for Jesus. You will most definetly find Him woven through the pages screaming Here I am! For instance, my heart literally pounds out of my chest when I read, "Come near me, hear this: I have not spoken in secret from the begining. From the time that it was, I was there. And now the Lord God and His Spirit have sent Me." (48:16) or "Listen oh coastlands, to Me and take heed, you people from afar. The Lord has called me from the womb. From the matrix of my mother He has made mention of my name. And He has made my mouth like a sharp sword; in the shadow of His hand He has hidden me." (49:1) and others proclaiming "Behold, I myself will give you a sign, the virgin shall concieve and bear a son and call His name Immanuel."
Now how can you stay cranky (because I managed to before doing this) while reading these!? It's a sure way to feel the vehement desire that God has for you! His Zeal performed this. He had your name in mind when He purposed it since the begining of time. The Christmas season is personal. The Father gave us His Son as a gift and we will be given as a blameless bride as a gift to His Son. The Holy God came to be born in a dirty manger, and the same Holy God wants to be born and live in my dirty heart. May I be transformed in His image day by day! Come Lord Jesus come! We miss you and we love you. We want you to come back.

thin mint recipe

Today Eden and I will hand deliver our homemade goodies to our nearest neighbors. Thin mints are really easy to make and heres the recipe.
You'll need:
1 box or more, of ritz crackers
semi sweet chocolate squares
crushed candy canes
peppermint extract

Melt the chocolate in a double boiler (or microwave, we dont have one). Once melted add peppermint extract to taste. (a few drops) Dip the crackers in one by one and put aside on wax paper or foil. Before it dries sprinkle crushed candy canes on top. Voila! Your done. You may want to chill them in the fridge, or garage. These are yummy...they go fast.

advent calendar

Tonight on a whim I whipped up an advent calendar. I used some white mini envelopes as a template to make some brown paper sack ones from my recycling bin. (only because I ran out of white, and honestly needed whatever was laying around the house) I added random buttons I found laying around. For each day, I may sneak in an andes mint or somthing sweet along with who Jesus is. For the entire month, I want to focus on the person Jesus and His characer. Then turning it into a mini devotional. For example, "Immanuel, Prince of Peace, Everlasting God, Saviour, Bridegroom, Judge, King of Kings..." Short but sweet. This mornings devo was so simple, but Eden loved it!
Me: Immanuel, why is God called God with us? We were separated from Him when man sinned and heaven was closed to man. God came as Jesus, as a baby who grew to be a man and since He was blameless He took on our sins and exchanged His life for ours. He opened heaven that was once closed, and put His Holy Spirit in us who believe, love and follow Jesus with all our hearts, minds and lives. God is now with us!
So simple! but the gospel 101.

market

I figured we can still have a farmers market even in the middle of winter, right? Instead of buying a huge stand, I used whatever I had laying around. Her felt fruit goes in one basket, her tea set in the other. The daily sale changes, for instance today apples are only 10 cents! Hooray! She can sort through her produce with these baskets given as a gift made in africa. It feels like a real market.

Christmas spirit

I got the fresh white pine garlands up on the doorposts and doorways, put up my pinecone flower wreath and pomander, and it is official. I love the smell of pine. So much. That's why I love real christmas trees because it's so nostalgic to remember those snowy nights and stare at the lights and drink in the fragrance. I am excited to make an acorn tree tommorow, and if it doesnt take long, I may make a few as gifts! It should end up looking like this. We shall see if thats realistic! There will be no christmas tree this year, but in its place is a pine candle which is delicious. What gifts are you making handmade this year?

agent of His

As I reflect on this week, I realize that nomatter what I did, significant or insignificant someone was watching. Eden was, yes, but the Lord was watching the motives of my heart, the attitudes hidden deep inside, and the way I responded to chaos. Can I admitt I was tired this week? Disgruntled, grumpy, lazy...and short tempered. Through all of my yuck, when my child looked up at me and had a need or asked to play or even when dealing with discipline, the way I responded to her was a picture to her of who and how God is. I am an agent of His. I reflect His heart to her and I am one of the ways she will know who He is by me showing her. Did I fail miserably? I think so. Was I intentional and give my best? With what I had, I gave what I could. Most of all, even on rough days, I want her to see joy so uncontainable pouring through my being. That is the Holy Spirit inside of me. When I am so utterly weak or discouraged I can commune with a living person inside of me who constantly tells me He will strengthen me, He will never leave me, He loves me. And He is honest but so kind! And He is faithful as I let Him to transform me from the inside out to look more like that beautiful man in heaven, the God-man Jesus. Let love and humility be worked inside of me on the days I feel the weakest as a mother. More of you, less of me, God!

words of life

There's somthing about speaking truth over your children. Truth over their lives, who they are, and how God sees them. "You are loved" is the phrase I've had up this week. I love seeing this in her room, because it reminds me I'm loved too.

abc's

I really want to use what I have around the house and saw an idea from a website to make your own fabric alphabet letters. So, I went into my sewing room and viola! Im not done yet..but its a start. I may put magnets on the back of them to put on the fridge or I may just put them on her wall or not. We will see. Here is her new bookshelf in our living room. I decided to have it turned toward us during the day for her to use as she likes, then once its time to clean up for the evening, I'll turn it around so she can't reach anything to pull it out. I love how the books are in the rooms of the house! I can't get over how charming it is.

distractions

Why does it seem when I want to get stuff done that I only get slowed down? The joys of mothering! Mind you, its totally worth it somtimes to throw my chore out the window and grab my little girl into my arms and play. Today, I cleaned out the fridge and it happened to be nasty. I turned my back for a second and my little girl was playing in the yucky growth stuff in the bottom of my fridge floating in water. Then the next second found her beating on the milk carton like a drum. I think I had to redirect her out of the kitchen several times, when I finally realized there is a gate for a reason! Life would be so boring without kids.

village of peg people

This is what I worked on one afternoon when I saw a video game that had backgrounds made out of cardboard and crayon and fabric. Eden loves to run around the house with these English houses tucked in the nook of her arm. It does add to playing with peg people and imagining them living in these little cottages. It's really simple but really fun.

day at the park

I didnt know

This morning one of the first things I did was change Eden's wet disposable diaper, and hastily fold it up and threw it on the floor. As I prepared breakfast and finished cleaning Eden up from hers, I saw her run from the kitchen and disappear from sight. My back was turned and all of a sudden I heard the squeak of the kitchen cabinet door open, a swoosh of somthing landing in the trash can, the the sound of the cabinet being closed and a pitter patter of running feet. I turned around but no one was there.
I ran to our room to find my husband getting ready for work. When questioned he let out an amused grin, "Yeah, you didn't know she could do that? I taught her how the other night."
Geesh, I was so pleasantly surprised and impressed I literally felt like dancing around the room.

almost done...

"It's not the great things you do in life, it's the little things you do with great love." -mother teresa
Here is Edens room as of this past week. I did some switching here and there and made some new things to hang up. The only thing thats missing are curtains and another coat of paint. I'd love to make curtains but I may resort to whatever is on sale. I moved her bookshelf in her room since a disgruntled father was worried she would get into his important documents in his office. So, now her room is scattered frequently with books on the floor. I've been trying to train her to put them away after she's done using them. Without success. Is it worth getting to teach my daughter? You bet. Is it worth the extra time she pulls out more books and plops in my lap for me to read to her? Oh my goodness. Is it worth her looking up at me through sucking her fingers with a smile? Melting. I love being a mommy!

favorite pho soup

Somthing about this fall weather has gotten me on a soup kick lately. Pumpkin curries, and asian soups are at the top of my list. Simply, its vietnamese chicken noodle soup. Sear a whole onion, and 2 inch ginger piece. Put them in chicken stock/water and boil/simmer you're whole chicken til its cooked. (preferably with bones and let it be on low for several hrs for best broth) Salt and pepper to taste. Then add chinese five spice. (2 Tb. or more to taste) Next add your fresh toppings (to an individual bowl), clear flat wide noodles, fresh thai basil, (or any basil)fresh bean sprouts, cilantro, peppers, or cucumber and lime. I prefer thai basil and sprouts with the noodles. Talking about it makes my mouth water its so incredible!

bread

The other day I was craving homemade baked bread. I was also craving the smell of homemade baked bread. Growing up my mom and I had an old wooden table as an island in our kitchen that we would bake bread on. It was our ritual. The smell always reminds me of those good days. It's now time to begin the tradition with my own daughter. Coincidentally, she loved it. I measured everything out beforehand so all I had to do was help her pour the ingredients in and stir. Stirring wasn't that successful because in her excitement of me handing her the wooden spoon, she threw the flour straight up in the ceiling. She couldn't contain herself! I dont blame her. It didn't take long for her to catch on....she watched in amazement as I punched it and kneaded it and slammed it over and over again on the counter. A slow smile crept over her face and she let go and did the same. I had hesitations about letting my year and a half year old help me bake, but it was such a great experience. Heck, so good we baked sugar cookies together the following week.

I move His heart

Flowers are dear to my heart. Somehow it got passed down to Eden, for even she will daily walk to my pot of flowers, touch them, pick one and drink it in deeply exclaiming, "Mmm!" at the same time. I dont know how she knows. Maybe she's seen me do this ritual before? Anyhow, we love flowers. This summer was blistering hot and sadly, I didnt make it out as faithfully as I dreamed I would. The flowers were neglected and they died. (spring flowers are expected to)I cant tell you how sad it was! There they were, pitiful and brown just begging to be uprooted. I didnt have the heart to uproot them. Now, its October and begining last month they started waking up and comming to life again. The fall rains and crisp cool air have jumpstarted them and they look pretty nice! Eden and I are back to our admiring again.
It got me thinking about Matthew 12:20, "a bruised reed He will not break and a dying flame He will not quench..." Jesus loves mercy! Lately, I've felt like my heart has been in a drought season. Dead. Brown. No rivers of water to refresh and seemingly no fruit or beautiful blooms comming from my life. But wait, maybe just a season? Its a new season! The rains are here, and I actually feel refreshed. The bible is interesting again. The simple Truths are rocking my world. The man Jesus is a real man to me again, speaking to me. Changing me. He's alive and He won't uproot us. He wants us to be flourishing more than we do. He's our biggest fan, our heavenly champion. He won't give up. He'll pursue and chase us down. He'll ambush us over and over till we are so confident in His love we want to explode with JOY. If you feel like nobody understands you, there is a God-Man who is breathing right now, in heaven with a human ressurected body whose lungs are rising and falling just like yours are; this very moment, who is deeply committed to you. He knows you completely. You move His heart. The creator who spoke the world into existence is moved by you. He has great joy in loving you. (its not an obligation)

sunny october

Don't you love this weather? Every day feels like heaven. I feel like the Lord is kissing my heart everytime I step outside or open the windows to air out the house.
New old quilt. I love the bright colors, the wedding band design, and how soft it is to wrap up in. I thought I'd air out our laundry, some diaper liners and such, becuase lets face it, if you know it's been in the sunshine, it automatically smells better in my book.

simplify

I cleaned out our toy chest today. Now it's so orderly and only full of things we actually use. I do believe the less things that you have makes you take care of them. I want to teach Eden that to live simply is worth it. Order in the home and having a place for everything is my goal. I haven't reached it yet.
Today I took her to Blanc burger, my fave place for gourmet afordable food. We had a little lunch date, it was so fun. I was nervous at first because it took 30 min. for the food to come out and I didnt know how long she'd last. But, it was worth it because they gave her this drink out of a squirt bottle shaped like an animal. It entertained us the whole time. Plus a cap to the drink. And a straw. Simple. I saw people from other tables watching us to see how'd she'd react. The only hiccup was when Eden bit down on the cap real hard, and it flew across the room and almost hit a woman! Thankfully it hit her leg, and she was so wrapped up in her conversation she didnt notice. Big sigh of relief. To end the meal, my very well mannered toddler took the dipping sauce (yogurt somthing)from her fruit tray and clasped it with both hands to drink it down. And drink it down she did.

remember the memory game?

I had a bunch of happy baby frozen meals on hand the other day. As I was about to throw them in the recycling box, I had an idea to use the pictures on the box to make a game. It took about 5 seconds. My husband and I played a few rounds and got so competitive, it was entertaining.
And if you're going to make a game, might as well make somthing to put it in so it doesn't get lost. Although it probably will. At least you found your creative outlet doing it and made somthing cute during naptime. Sigh of relief. Now to change a poopey diaper!

day in the backyard

What a beautiful day! I thought it appropriate to play outside and get some fresh air. We've been cooped up inside lately since the weather has been so atrociously hot and miserable. It's amazing how refreshed and energized pulling weeds and mowing the grass can make you feel. There was a cool breeze and the sun was shining, birds were singing, butterflies flying around us as we played outside and kicked the soccer ball around. Almost one of those surreal days you want to push the pause button on. And who can resist a game of hide and seek with a toddler?
Lately we've been having so much fun with peg people. They're cheap, easy to paint, and throw a paper mache house in to make a complete set. It entertains us for a long time. Also, some slate boards and chalk help pass the time. It reminds me of playing pioneer school as a child. My husbands kids that I play with Edens toys more than she does. Then I found my little girl sitting and quietly reading in the corner of our music/office/sewing/library room. Yeah, I know!! Maybe playing so hard outside made her want to have quiet time. By the way, the blue walls? they were like that when we moved in and it needs some new paint. Anyhow, just a peak into our day. Have a lovely fall weekend.

listening

Fridays are our days to be outdoors. To explore. To be quiet and listen. To feel the Lord through nature and His creation. He is the most incredible artist.