reform

A friend of mine recently introduced a resource to me called Parenting by design. I've tried a few christian parenting books, but they haven't been very effective for a two year old. This one is different. I've only looked on their site and read a few articles which have already been so insightful. In my immediate season my main issues have been mainly me. I've been grumpy or moody and impatient. I've responded in anger. I've thrown fits during her fits. I have been the rebellious child, and through it all my heavenly Father has patiently walked beside me. He's encouraged me, given me things to strengthen my heart and an unlimited supply of grace each day. His walking with me and being tender with my heart has been the perfect model. In fact, this method suggests He is the perfect model and stresses prayer. It mentions your child will react to how you react. And we all know the verse that says, "Fathers do not exasperate your children so they will not lose heart." I have been exasperating mine. I fear she's been losing heart.  There are different ways we parent ... without going into the different categories we fall in (check it out) I've stepped back and noticed before I can expect change in her, I need to change myself. I love her. This vibrant little person of joy and personality who makes me laugh and melt at the same time. Ultimately? I need Christ to be formed in me before I can expect it in her. Out of the overflow of my heart my mouth speaks. Also, this girl is two. Mmhm. She will make mistakes. She is in a journey of learning consequences and how to live with the decisions she makes. The question is, am I willing to walk beside her in love? In empathy while I teach/train her? Am I going to speak words of life and love and impart courage to her little heart? I don't want her to feel like I'm always correcting her or that she's doing things wrong all the time, even if she does, I want her to see me walking beside her. Never leaving her or forsaking her. Never giving up on her. And still speaking life and words that will motivate her to walk them out fully. I've been experimenting and when I speak words of life, joy and delight over her....she changes. She becomes what I speak, almost. And my tone? She matches it. There is so much influence we have over them, and a lot of our day begins with whats happening in our hearts. So feed your hearts my friends. Feed on Jesus. A man who is so alive and so ready to help those who ask. A man who empathizes with our weaknesses and who champions us on. Fill your mind and hearts with his words and watch as you begin to see Christ formed on the inside.

pruning

Yesterday, I couldn't get this little song out of my head that says, "Remain in me. No greater love has no one than this, that he should lay down his life for his friends. And you are my friends if you do what I command. Remain in me. And I will remain in you." (seeds family worship) I felt from the deepest part of me that this was where I was. Needing to remain in Jesus. It's been a hard season.

Then this morning the message was in the same theme. How do you know you're in a season of pruning? Loss. (financial, friendship, life, ministry, work..)
The weariness sets in. Fear and despair begin to take control. Being around people who have it all together not only makes you feel worse because you are far from together, but makes you want to give up.  In the vulnerable place of your pain its tempting to retreat into a seemingly safe place. A "safe" place where you can have control when everything else is spinning out of control.  You're tempted to draw back. Don't draw back. Its not an option! Be patient. The pruning season demands focus not retreat. What about our brothers and sisters in the faith? Were they spared troubles of various kinds? The disciples? Weren't they beaten, stripped of their property, abandoned, rejected, imprisoned, mistreated? Was Jesus spared suffering? Satan wants to confuse you into losing vision and wrongly interpreting the season you've just walked in. Introspection. He will lie to your already vulnerable state. Lies like, "You wasted your time. You have no vision. You failed. What have you got to show? Nothing. Look what you've done...you didn't hear God. Its your fault." And then anxiety, depression and fear take over. But guess what??? You're in the pruning season because you bore fruit! You have been useful, but God wants to draw you deeper, and satan wants to make you quit so you can be useless. When you feel Him the least is when to declare and trust in Him the most. Even Jesus learned obedience through the suffering of His soul. The testing of our faith proves its genuineness. If I study about the humility of Jesus or any other subject matter, I will probably be tested in the following season of fleshing out what I know. The Lord loves testing us, working things in us...and to see us become the message. I don't want to just write about things I learn but I want to embody those things in walking it out. Displaying it rather than discussing it. God is calling us to remain in Him and to come out of a season of shaking clinging to Him. In the midst of trials let it be burned onto our souls that He is our portion, and our true source. And God disciplines those He loves. Were true children if He allows us to draw closer and go deeper with Him. Study the life of His friends throughout the ages. Suffering through trials, imprisonments...its a telltale sign that were His. The testimony that comes forth from their lives is to His glory. We'll thank Him in the age to come.

fresh start

I have put it off long enough. The fear of failure and it won't matter anyway echoed through my thoughts, but last night I betrayed my thoughts and I'm moving forward. Let's face it. My health matters. It matters how I take care of myself, and I haven't. It's worth it to feel good again. It's worth it for my children. It's worth it to ingrain habits they will eventually learn from me. It's hard to undo my years of bad habits but in the training ... hopefully I will reap a harvest of good stuff. I plan to start simple. I plan to cut out much of my processed and packaged meals I revert to to save my life everyday since I lack the energy to plan and prepare something better. I plan to munch on fresh raw fruits and veggies, really focusing on ginger, garlic, lemons, fennel, grapes, pineapple, coconut oil, flax seed..some good stuff for the gut. That my friends, is the issue. We'll see if it helps? Back to meal planning, and smart shopping I go. Time to roll up my sleeves and get to work. It'll be worth it, right?

order

I stumbled across this "the days' draft" clip board, and I'm thrilled excited about it! This is so helpful for someone with a fly by the seat of their pants personality. I love structure and organization...but to be consistent with it is difficult. I can organize, clean and get  loads done, just not manage my time well and find at the end of the day, "Yeah, wait a minute....who IS making dinner?" rings in our house. http://www.aholyexperience.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/dayplanner.pdf
Heres the link to the daily organizer. One of my goals will be to try to do the same thing at the same time each day and see how it makes my life easier! Im a sucker for routine...of course there is always grace to lay down the schedule for NOW moments. Life happens. Babies fuss, toddlers destroy, they cling to your leg demanding your full attention, you put down what your doing to give them your full attention, dogs have accidents, other things ruin those planned out moments...but its nice to have somthing to fall back on, right? Lets see how it goes. As I commune with His Spirit that gives the fullness of life and joy, may I find Him with me in everything that I do. As little as it is. An offering, still.